He hopes the traffic helps. He nods. Seven sleeps, ok? She understands that sometimes she stays with only one of them. It really is time to go. The most important part of it all is for Stella to be comfortable wherever she is. They see each other more than one would think since they live so many miles away from each other.
That was pretty clear by the end of when he last saw Harry at a conference room in a hotel in Los Angeles. Louis had never seen him look so sad. He felt like he could puke at any minute. They lasted six and a half years. More than anyone would have imagined a boy band to last.
Less than any of them wanted. On that exact moment a serious Simon and three other suited people entered the room. The room went cold and they all exchanged sincere looks. Somehow it felt weird without Zayn there to end what they had begun together, but they had been One Direction without him for a year and a half then.
They had shared so much. Louis stared at each one of them in true awe. He was mesmerized by what they had done together. He was mesmerized by the human beings they had turned into over the years.
Louis had been to hell and back more times than he could count. He had cried so, so much. He had loved a love he never even believed it was possible to happen to people like him. They were given a pen each, and Anthony started reading the clauses of the contract. They were being given their twitter accounts back with only a few restrictions of posts. Harry was coming out, finally. The thought was laughable now. They were good friends by then, but they became a gang of their own after those rough months… Somehow that came in handy when Zayn left.
They had had each other. Louis rarely saw Liam losing his shit. That was one of those rare moments. Harry had declined a solo deal? He knew how much he loved being on stage. Thanks to you. I need some time. And I genuinely seriously think Louis will find a way to deserve it. And that was it. They never discussed the subject anymore, but they signed something giving them the right to get back together as a four piece group in case they wanted it in the future.
Louis was about to leave the hotel when Harry called his name nearby the elevators. Niall passed him and said something in his ear, and Harry only nodded.
Harry had seen her twice — Stella, that is. The day she was born though… The day she was born, Harry was the one to drive Louis to the hospital. He held her for a few seconds, wished Briana all the luck, told her she was beautiful, and then he was gone.
Separate rooms, of course. He was just there for Stella. Louis knew he wanted to ask something. When Harry looked up again, his eyes were still not sure, but a bit colder. A bit older. A bit unHarry. Somehow it hurt more. I want you to be happy. And I want you to be a great father.
But I want you out of Los Angeles. Louis opened and closed his mouth a few times before he figured out what he wanted to say. They were standing by a lift, but Louis wished it were a cliff, so he could just jump right then and there. LA is home… My only home now. Louis got New York. Harry got LA. Louis got London, too. And Harry, the rest of the world.
How could he complain? His mom opens the door with a big smile on her face and a sleepy Doris by her side. Louis cannot believe what he sees — every time he looks at the youngest of his sisters, he wants to laugh thinking that that five year old is the aunt of his three year old daughter.
Well, almost. Louis would look further into it, but at this exact moment there are three kids entering the kitchen and two of them are crying. Stella runs to his arms and Doris crosses hers. Louis pats himself on the back for the tremendous job he does at not rolling his eyes out of his head.
Harry had picked it. Can you get her another Barbie? Then you can play with this one and she gets another? She pouts. Stella immediately leaves Louis on the floor with a small smile on her face. Louis wishes his problems could be solved just as fast and just as simply.
There is something different about having a little brother now that he has a child of his own. He just hopes he can turn Stella into a football fan as well. He loves it. Oh my God, is that Louis Tomlinson? When he thinks that it can be Stella in a few years.
No, not a few. Many, many years. In fact, he is not going to think about it. Louis takes a mental note to give his mother a big check for her to pass on to the girls on the day of prom. Then they move on to her crush. He only hopes he can be that for his daughter. Of course all the attention turns to Stella when the he gets home with the girls and he goes to the living room to read some emails and send Briana a text just to let her know everything is okay.
Dan has just arrived and like everybody else is cooing over Stella. It is. Louis still remembers the first time he went home right after he got into The X Factor and how much he wanted Harry to be there. Louis remembers how he begged for Jay to insist that Anne would spend the night — and it was reasonable, it was , it was a long drive from Cheshire to South Yorkshire.
That was how Louis and Harry ended up on the couch in the living room until the sun came up on the twenty-fifth. But they did. He goes upstairs to kiss Ernest and Doris goodbye — they fell asleep an hour ago and only then he realized Stella should be in bed as well. Daisy and Phoebe hug him tight and ask him to take them to London one of these weekends. Maybe I can help you move there? As much as he can. Zayn is in the process of recording, again, just coming off his European tour and it is kind of exhausting booking so many writing sessions that fit both of their schedules.
He makes it back to London in a little less than three hours cause there is no traffic at this time and put Stella on his bed right after one am. He changes his clothes and lies by her side, only taking fifteen minutes to drift off.
She works like an anesthetic on him. He got to be happy for over twelve hours that day. He wakes up with hair tickling his chin and a light weight on his chest — the best kind of weight though. Louis smiles and brushes her dirty blonde hair out of her forehead. Princess time consists of bubbles and pink shampoo and fruity soap. At night, he lights up the fireplace and reads her a story. Just… No. Kindly, he removes the flower crown from his hair and places it on hers, taking a picture for Instagram and not captioning it.
He loves her so much. The weekend is pretty uneventful. On Sunday morning they eat pancakes that are slightly better than the waffles and skype with Lottie, who promises to visit Stella in New York as soon as possible. Now she works with Lou Teasdale for Vanity Fair on a daily basis and freelances at some fashion shows.
It is Tuesday afternoon when Louis makes a terrible, terrible decision. She is three years old. She needs to eat healthy stuff. Everything is perfect. Stella is wearing a blue coat that looks so, so good on her and her blond hair is sliding from her beanie that matches his. You too, Stella!
He parks the car as near the entrance as he can manage and as soon as he gets out of the car there is a commotion on the front. If she only knew. There are a lot of girls and they stop him asking for a picture, he takes a group one and lets them say hi to Stella, but moves faster than he would when he starts shopping.
She does. He goes with her and stops abruptly when they arrive at their destination. And right there, in front of one of the fridges, bickering among laughs over a brand of ice cream, is Harry Styles.
Oh no. No, no. Harry was standing at the front door in the middle of the night in the summer of They had never fought that badly up until then and by the time Louis got to London he was pretty sure they were finished.
After the first night alone, though, he missed Harry more than he was angry with him. And then Harry was there in that July night, right after dinner. And that was so funny, cause Harry Styles could never be a jerk. Sure he could act brat-y sometimes, but just in the heat of the moment. Much softer and better than Louis remembered. It had only been 48 hours but it felt like a lifetime. And he did. Fifteen minutes after Harry was panting and grinding down on him, desperately asking to be fucked and, really, how could Louis ever deny something, anything to this boy?
Flushed cheeks and strawberry red mouths, messed hair and glassy green-eyes. Louis loved him so, so much. And so many fans with question mark faces near the registers. Because Harry Styles is back to London after three long, long years.
Although it feels like years have passed, it was probably just a few seconds, just enough for Harry to be the only one to notice how shaken Louis is.
Not that Harry is much better. Louis knows that that flick on his eyes are due to nervousness. Actually, the only thing that keeps him from running is Stella. It has been so damn long since Louis has said his name out loud. It should have sounded foreign to him, but it just sounded right , like it was meant, made to be said by him.
How ridiculous. And breaking. And mending again. And also bursting. And on his throat. Everything at once. Why is this happening to me? Yes, baby, Harry and I know each other for… A really long time now. Just like Louis is. Not that he has actually looked at me , he thinks. Louis is fine. Louis is grateful, but mostly… Disappointed.
And he hates himself for it. And it breaks him once again. They had just found out it would be a girl, she was five months pregnant and Louis was starting to get used to the idea of being a father. He was almost excited about it. He avoided the topic whenever they were around each other — there was no need to hurt Harry even more, Niall had said unnecessarily one day… Of course Louis knew.
No matter how much he tries to hide, at this exact moment Louis knows Harry is disappointed that Stella does not understand nor recognizes the term of endearment. Add one fuck up to the pile, Tomlinson. Maybe they all had a Harry-gene in their bodies. Oh, Louis, you idiot, you know why. He just looks at the screen and pockets it on his own jeans again, after declining it.
Objectively speaking, he is attractive. As tall as Harry, dark-haired and brown eyed. He looks like a freaking model. A cat-walk American version of Zayn Malik covered in design clothes. Later Louis finds out the guy is indeed a fucking model. And a YSL one. He did know. Right now, after over a year being resigned with his own existence, Louis wants to die again.
Jealousy runs like fire through his blood and he tightens his grip on Stella to remain sane. She is a blessing. Louis loves her so, so much. She does keep him sane. Harry hesitates only a second before taking her from Louis. Louis pats himself a thousand times in the back for not screaming. Would you wait a few minutes to leave? Like- if they see us, I mean. Thank you. Not even anger anymore. Somehow, this is worse. He holds it with such strength he thinks he might break it.
But then he breathes ten times, leaves everything in the kitchen and goes back to the living room. Louis mutes it and keeps talking to her, running his fingers through her hair and humming something while she makes up dance moves with her little arms.
He asks Zayn to make dinner and handle her to bed. He smiles fondly and kisses her again. The tiles are cold and he finally allows his head to hurt. Literally, his members are disconnecting. Nobody ever waits for him. He does deserve this bathroom floor though. He deserves the vomit accumulating on his throat and he deserves to have his knees hurting like hell while he bends on the toilet emptying his stomach. Some things worked out.
And all because of him. He feels like throwing up again but nothing comes out. Now his stomach hurts as well. Everything hurts. Even knowing that they were bound to meet in life, Louis has never expected to see Harry again. After they signed their contracts, Harry never showed up to another meeting. Until today. Because Harry looks glorious. He just knows. The mile long legs are still hidden by skin-tight jeans and he still wears patterned shirts with fashion boots.
Harry is still princely. And Louis finds him ravishing anyway. He vomits again. This time on the floor, because it was unexpected.
How is that even possible? Not even a trace of anger in his voice. Or pity. Just… Normal. Louis likes normal. He does his best for Zayn. He focuses on the water running through his body and supports half of his weight on the wall. Louis grunts but listens to him and reaches out for the shampoo.
Holding him like glue, just like he needs. Zayn arched his eyebrows and loosened his arms, giving Louis some space to breathe, needing air himself. When you arrived. And Harry. Is it possible he still has liquids to leak? Just like me. He looks good.
God, does he look good. Zayn makes him eat a little. And drink some water. He makes himself get up from the bed and walk to her room, just to kiss her forehead and silently apologizes for being a fuck up. What am I going to do? Louis has no idea. He is done for. He really wants everything to be finished — no matter what.
Yesterday we got bombed with the news that Harry Styles is back in London. We got so excited we decided to leave work early to celebrate — not that our boss allowed. Work, probably. Or has he just missed our grey skies? Or is H staying at a hotel? Thing is: Louis Tomlinson decided to show up at the same time with beautiful Stella for a quick shop as well. Whatever happened, left Louigi and Hazza even more distant from each other than they already seemed. We just hope that even 3 years later they still remember how much we love seeing them together and decide to appear at a pub for our eyes to catch their beautiful presences.
For now, we just have to wait. We at Sugarscape are definitely biting our nails thinking about a 1D reunion already. Maybe we can eat chocolate together. Harry finishes the reading and tosses the phone with such strength on the bed and it ends up on the carpet. He can hear the shower running and knows Alex will take a little while in there, so he allows himself a bit of a freak out right before eight am. Not that he has had any sleep since yesterday.
A bit older and with a stiffened expression, hair longer than he remembered it being the last time he saw a picture of his and stubble on point, looking tired and shocked, but still… Louis. In sweatpants, loose jumper and beanie, much like his Louis. And she understood. So she asked Alex about the upcoming fashion show he would do and Louis was easily forgotten — by him. But not by Harry. Never by Harry. Harry smiles into the kiss.
And order a bunch of room service and get fat. Alex laughs again and says goodbye. Harry knows the guy and estimates at least five hours. Or he really wants to be, at least. Depending on the type of supernova, the explosion may completely destroy the star. A Supernova may for a short time out shine an entire galaxy of a hundred billion ordinary stars. It is thought to leave behind a highly compressed neutron star. The first time Harry read the definition of what a Supernova was, he inevitably thought of him and Louis.
Of course he believed they would be together forever then, but sitting on the floor on that corner near the parking lot, he realized that that was what they were: the brightest star in the universe, only they were made to crash, and burn, and disappear.
His eyes were shut too tight that the darkness crept into him and it was almost comfortable, being in the dark. It was just a big vacuum and he was in it. He was loving it, until someone interrupted it.
Harry let out a sob and he was pretty sure she jumped back startled then. Suddenly he was being moved. Harry apologizes till today for the way he acted completely out of it.
I need Louis , he thought. Louis was currently sitting in the green room, a few steps away. From that moment on, actually, Harry started to hate him with all his love. And that was a lot of hate. How was that possible? Harry only knew how to cry.
So he did. When he woke up, there were a lot of whispers in the room and comfy pillows around his body. He realized he was at a hotel room but he had no idea how he got there. Someone was stroking his hair and he forced his eyes open. It was Lottie. How long was Harry out? He drank it in one gulp while waiting for her answer. For the first time in a long time Charlotte had sounded like a teenager.
They kept him in complete lock down for a few days and he only saw those three people. But Harry managed to get better. He knew he would never be whole again, no matter how much he tried. When management got involved, it got easier — well, easier is not the word. It got doable, living, that is. Almost four years ago Harry had his last panic attack.
He has. He has amazing friends in his life. Right, Harry has a boyfriend too. In fact, they talk more than Harry talks with Nick nowadays. It should be weird. It is a bit weird. They were chased by paps from the hotel and had to ask the taxi guy to take a few turns to lose them, but they arrived at a good time.
He was never so happy for being the center of attention. Harry has nowhere to go. First I had to know you had decided to come to London through Alex, three days ago. Not to Louis himself, not to his own self, not to anyone. Then he stops obsessing on Louis and focuses on replying Nick. The king is Louis. He hurt so much he got used to it, and he feels bad for the way he vanished right after One Direction declared that their break was in reality a break up.
Some relationships — like Nick — he was able to save, kinda. And some were just never worth trying. What happened to your flat? With the flat, they would be able to alternate between the two places. Maybe Louis was okay still living where they used to live together, but in order for Harry to move on, he needed to keep his memories with Louis intact.
The flat was off limits for anyone else but them. Or is it because that flat feels too much like home? Louis could never do that without getting on the tip of his toes because he was a bit shorter, Harry loved to tease him about it. Alex was sitting there, holding his hand, there were candles and a three course dinner between them.
There was Magic by Coldplay in the background and a dimmed light that made Alex look so, so beautiful. He had only been there because Lou and Lottie begged him — plus, the brand still sent Harry hundreds of free clothes and shoes and anything really. Harry had been fucking models for fun by then. But then, seven months into his new lifestyle, Alex appeared at the after party. He remembers feeling pathetic for it right before Alex fucked him into nothingness.
From then on, they just seemed to talk every day. So that was how Harry found himself in that position. Alex had just asked him to be his boyfriend — they had been going out for three months. Alex seemed to be in love with him. They were friends. So yeah, he knew how broken Harry had been after Louis. He accepted it. I really… Like us together. On Sunday they stay in and have a lot of sex. Harry drops him at the airport and says see you soon, babe, send them my regards. The next time he sees Alex is two weeks later in Paris.
But oh… How was Harry ever so stupid? See the end of the chapter for notes. Yesterday they told Louis that she is pregnant. He called Stella on skype to tell her uncle Liam would give her a little cousin and Sophia had tears in her eyes.
It was beautiful. The NYC trio push their blown-out garage-blues sound into new territory, on both reinterpreted classics and originals. The proceeds of this extensive compilation of punk and rock go towards the healthcare costs of beloved musician Dan Wild-Beesley.
Garrett Coakley. Powerful stuff. Favorite track: the death of cliff richard. Juan Gastelum. Purchasable with gift card. The album on CD, which includes page booklet with lyrics and artwork.
Join now to receive all the new music Djevara creates, including 5 back-catalog releases, delivered instantly to you via the Bandcamp app for iOS and Android. Learn more. Throw your worries away… Forget your worries Am I supposed to wait for a lifetime? See the smile the lasts for a lifetime This smile will last for a lifetime The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak Congratulations!
No reservations! Streaming and Download help. Report this track or account. Lillion Brosis were a fantastic discovery we made while on tour in our favourite country to play, Czech Republic. From the small town of Znojmo in the South, they make a very big, very awesome sound! If you like Djevara, you may also like:.
Springtime and Blind by Fiddlehead.
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